Defining Your Worth

For the past twenty summers, I have played pickup basketball with a group of guys at the local gym on Thursday evenings. Once a week, I take Aleve two hours prior to playing, warm-up, and then push through pain in my aching body to run up and down the court. There is a joy that comes with playing basketball that no other activity matches. The movement, the flow, the muscle memory, seeing lanes emerge on a fast break, hitting a shot in someone's face, the collision of bodies in the paint - it rejuvenates me as much as it exhausts me.

There is little defense played in this aging men’s league, and so every outside shot is a good look at the hoop. Despite these open shots, sometimes the ball just keeps rimming out and my frustration grows. You would think that twenty years after my college career ended that I would have learned that my value as a player is not one dimensional, but it seems at least once a summer I have to re-learn that my impact on the court is not tied solely to my ability to make jump shots. As my own kids are making their way through their basketball careers in high school and middle school, I find myself sharing this lesson with them as well: do not define your worth by the most public display of your talents. 

Every basketball team requires people to play different roles. To the casual fan, it is easy to see the value in those with the most public facing roles: the leading scorer, the clutch shooter, the highlight reel dunker. These players get the social media highlights, get the fans on their feet, and the pat on the back after the game. But equally important to a team’s success are the other less glamorous roles: the defensive specialist, the scout team player who busts their butt in practice to make the stars better, the center who selflessly rebounds the ball, the pass-first point guard who facilitates the offense. The best teams have players filling all of these roles - both willingly and successfully, and as my college coach promised at the start of each season, “The best offensive player is not guaranteed minutes, but I promise you the best defensive player will always be on the floor.” 

Likewise, every business, school, or non-profit organization has the same suite of roles that need to be filled. Some are very public facing while others are behind the scenes supporting those who are delivering the mission of the organization. Organizations that function most effectively are filled with individuals who see the institution’s success above their own and who are willing to play their part, knowing that they might not get the same glory others receive. 

Leaders cultivate culture by what they value publicly. When a leader acknowledges the unsung heroes of an organization, it is a powerful message to both the internal organization and to the greater community tied to the organization. It is a message that elevates the importance of everyone’s work, not just those who are the stars. It is also a message that validates the abilities of those individuals who prefer to work behind the scenes to ensure an organization’s success. 

As I prepare for the heart of the upcoming basketball season, my goal is to help my team and my own kids understand the different roles that need to be filled in order for the team to be successful. I am sure there will be numerous conversations with young men who myopically see their value to the team solely tied to the number of points they score. In each conversation, I will remind them what I have to remind myself every time I have a poor shooting night during summer pickup games: do not define your worth by the most public display of your talents.